


Pie Or Die

by StarlessKnights



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff, Other, This is real self indulgent fluff, nobody is actually going to die over pie, pure fluff, there is no actual human death dont worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:03:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlessKnights/pseuds/StarlessKnights
Summary: Akane's really got some cravings. Shenanigans ensue.





	Pie Or Die

“You know what sounds really good right now?” Akane poked the two boys playfully in their sides, squeezing her way between them to get to the coffee pot sitting on the kitchen counter.

In unison, they both looked down at Akane trying to think about what Akane could possibly be thinking of. Honestly, throwing out just about anything would suffice, since the odds of either of them guessing correctly were slim.

Junpei was the first brave soul to make a guess. “Uh… The, um, sense of accomplishment that comes with delivering justice and restoring world peace?” It was definitely sarcastic, but it definitely sounded like something that anybody would want.

“Getting another cat?” Carlos suggested. A much more normal suggestion, if they didn’t already have a full house.

“Well yes I'd love another cat- but I was thinking of something a little more… satiating.” Akane hummed, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

The two guys looked at each other, not having a clue what Akane was hinting towards.

“Pie, guys! A freshly baked blueberry pie!”

“Oh yeah, that does sound really good,” Carlos agreed, turning around to lean his back against the countertop, “My ma’ used to make a really killer blueberry pie every summer for our family’s fourth of July cookout. I remember walking into the house and it would just smell amazing. Maria or I might even have one of her old recipe books somewhere.”

“Wait, you want to make a pie, Akane? Don’t you need like…” Junpei was about to say baker’s talent, until he bit his tongue in attempts to save himself, “a lot of berries?”

It was true, Carlos was the one who cooked primarily. Junpei hadn’t had Akane’s baking since they were children and she’d made cookies to give out during valentines. They weren’t terrible, but it had definitely been quite a few years since then.

Blueberries were pretty expensive at the market, and they would need a few packages to get enough to fill a pie. 

“My family used to pick them ourselves. You know, like apples in the fall or pumpkins at the pumpkin patch. You get a container and just fill it up for cheap.” 

“Then let’s do that!” Akane chimed, getting excited

Junpei laughed, knowing there would be no backing out of this now that Akane was excited, “Sure, why not. Sounds better than sitting around here on a Saturday.”

\---- ---- ---- ----

Picking blueberries seemed to be more time consuming than they all had expected.

To tackle as many bushes as possible, the three of them agreed to split up, each taking a little container to fill- Carlos to the left, Akane to the right, Junpei down the middle.

15 minutes later, and only halfway through his first container, Carlos found himself sweating under the July sun.

Suddenly, a single blueberry launched through the air over towards Carlos, who was on his knees in front of a low bush. It smacked him right in the side of his head at his temple. At first, he thought it had been a bee that accidently rammed into his face, and he freaked out, swatting the imaginary bug away from his head before he heard a snickering from behind a bush.

“Junpei,” Carlos groaned, realizing that it wasn’t a bug but a blueberry that hit him, “C’mon now…”

Junpei put his arms up in the air, as if caught in the act of a crime, “H-hey now, I’m an innocent man.”

It was then that Akane popped her head out from behind Junpei. She covered her mouth as she laughed, throwing another berry towards Carlos.

“A-Akane?” Carlos moved a hand up to block it. He had expected this sort of childish playfulness from somebody like Junpei- but Akane of all people? He picked up a blueberry from the ground and chucked it back at them, smacking Junpei dead center in the forehead.

He whipped his head back dramatically, as if Carlos had shot him, falling backwards into Akane.

“Carlos!” Akane gasped, “And here I thought you were supposed to save lives.”

“He’s gone rogue. Turned to the dark side,” Junpei claimed, picking up a blueberry from his side, still leaning into Akane, “But that’s okay, I know exactly what he needs to be won back over.”

“Oh yeah?” Akane asked, “and what would that be, Jumpy?”

“A berry good time.” And with that, Junpei launched his blueberry back at Carlos.

After that ensued a full out war. Each party picked up stray berries off the ground and claimed a bush as base. They went on for fifteen minutes straight, yelling, laughing, covered in popped blueberries- that is until one of the field caretakers came over and told them that if they didn’t stop they’ be kicked out.

After giving their apologies and finishing up their pickings, they headed back, all their cartons of blueberries packed into one big crate resting on Akane’s lap.

“So, uh, Akane, have you ever made a pie before?” Carlos asked sitting in the driver’s seat.

“No,” she stated back, popping a berry into her mouth.

“You’ve never made a pie?” Junpei reached forward to steal a berry from the back seat.

Akane laughed, “Guys, how hard can it be? I have Carlos’s mother’s recipe. It’s like chemistry, just measure the correct amounts, use the right utensils, and take observations as you go to mark progress.”

“Yeah, except this isn’t science- it’s baking.” Junpei warned.

“Isn’t everything science, in a way?”

“Akane’s got a point- what’s the worst that could happen?”

\---- ---- ---- ----

Beep Beep Beep

“I got the window!”

“I got the door!”

Akane’s coughing could be heard throughout the apartment.

“I’m sorry!” she cried from the kitchen, looking down at the black mass that used to be a pie.

Junpei coughed into his hand, waving a magazine to help vent the smoke out of their apartment. “Well this was to be expected.”

“I don’t even know what happened- I set the timer, I even checked the temperature twice!”

Suddenly, Carlos reappeared behind her.

“Hey Akane?”

“Yeah?”

“... Did you mess with the temperature settings on the oven again.”

“Yes, I thought I switched it back to Fahrenheit!”

Carlos pressed a few buttons on the console, before stepping back with his arms crossed across his chest, “I think you might was to check the settings twice next time.” He chuckled.

“She left it at Celsius again?” Junpei groaned from the other room as the smoke detector stopped beeping.

“Sorry,” Akane groaned rubbing her forehead, “I guess I’m still just not used to switching between the two.”

Akane felt Carlos wrap his arms around her from behind, bending down to kiss her temple. She knew that Carlos wasn’t mad, but she was still mad at herself for making such a silly mistake. Then Carlos blew on her ear, making her cringe.

“Carlos-”

“Don’t worry about it- we got plenty of other berries. We’ll just try again. Here, I’ll help you this time.”

“Yeah,” Junpei re-entered the room, picking up the recipe card off the counter, “Let us help you Kanny, it’s like they say- three minds are better than one… or something like that anyways.”

It was touching how each of them would forgive her so easily for setting the apartment up in smoke, let alone offer to have her try this all over again. It was a testament to how much patience they had for each other. How Akane lucked out with two wonderful partners was beyond her. 

She just laughed as she held her hands out to take Junpei’s, still being held by Carlos, “I love you two.”

Carlos bend down to kiss her again, as Junpei leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead like a child. They really were too good to her.

“Plus I know what you’re like when you don’t satisfy your cravings.”

“Junpei.” Akane rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, you get pretty cranky if you don’t have your daily dose of desserts.”

“Not you too Carlos. Come on, we have work to do.” She shrugged them off with a smile.

This time, they’d end up fruitful for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't grammar check this. Sue me.
> 
> I love Junkanlos. Also sue me.


End file.
